Title: Not Pretty EnoughAuthor: Jaimie AdmansPublication Date: August 1st 2013Rating: *ARC provided by the author
New Year’s Resolutions:
1. Lloyd Layton will know I exist. He once said three whole words to me, so this is obviously progress. If I don’t get a proper conversation out of him soon, then I’ll take my top off and streak through the cafeteria, because nobody could fail to notice these boobs.
2. I will not get expelled for streaking through the cafeteria.”
Those are the words that begin her mission.
Chessie is fourteen, not pretty enough, and very much in love. Lloyd Layton is hot, popular, and unaware of Chessie’s existence.
Her goal is clear: to get Lloyd to love her as much as she loves him, and she has exactly one year to do it.
As Chessie’s obsession with Lloyd reaches boiling point and she starts to spin a web of lies that spiral out of control, Lloyd turns out to be not quite the prince she thought he was. Can Chessie avoid the gathering storm before things go too far?
There’s a common misconception that everyone wants big boobs. Let me tell you something: they don’t. If they’re fourteen and have a chest bigger than most of their school, including the teachers, they don’t. I’m a DD cup. People pay thousands of pounds to have their boobs enlarged to be smaller than mine. I can’t remember the last time I passed for a half fare on the bus. Or the last time a bus driver asked my face and not my chest for the fare. Everyone notices boobs when you’re my age. In fact, the only human in the world who doesn’t notice them is the one person I would quite like to notice them.
I’d quite like him to notice my personality too, but at this point just noticing my mere existence will do. If I have to use my boobs to lure him in, then so be it. The thing is, Lloyd Layton is hot, popular, and really, really tall. Taller than everyone else in our year. Taller than the teachers. Occasionally taller than the doorways. He knows what it’s like to be picked on for a physical attribute you can’t control. He’s different too. He knows what it’s like to be an outsider. Okay, when it comes to Lloyd Layton, he’s not really an outsider, because he’s absolutely gorgeous and loads of people like him, and I doubt anyone would dare to pick on him for anything because he could knock them flying with one swoop of his gigantic hands. But still. He’s taller than everyone and I have bigger boobs than everyone. We’re clearly a match made in heaven. It’s just a shame that he can’t see it yet.
But I’m sure he will one day soon.
I’m actually moving closer to that goal because he said one sentence to me back in December.
One sentence. Three small words. Not the three words I would like to hear him say, but I’ll take what I can get.
It was the last lesson of the last day of term before the Christmas holidays. Double technology. Not usually something to get excited about, but we came to the conclusion that the Christmas spirit had gone to Mr Vale’s head because he let us watch a movie in class instead of doing any work.
The Princess Bride.
We were allowed to pull chairs in around the TV and sit and watch a movie for two hours. Guess who pulled his chair in not that far away from mine?
I don’t know what happened next. I can’t explain it. It was like having an out of body experience. I’ll never understand how I had the courage to do it, but halfway through the film, I leaned over and said, “This is a good movie.” To Lloyd Layton. Better than that, he actually replied. He said, “Yes, it is.”
Three whole words. It got even better than that again because after it was over and we were putting the chairs up on the desks, he smiled at me. A real smile. And it wasn’t at the person behind me because I was next to a wall. He smiled at me.
This is a really funny book. Teenage girls will surely relate to Chessie who is so much obsessed with her crush that she’s willing to do anything just to make him know that she exists. Just any other girl, she thinks she’s in love with Lloyd Layton and since he “talked” to her, she has a feeling that she can actually make him like her. He had actually said three words to her. She’s really very determined to let him know her existence.
The way she thinks and underrates herself really makes me laugh but sometimes I can’t help but be sorry for her too. She thinks highly of Layton that she thinks she’s not deserving of his attention and can only admire him from afar.
Take this monologue about her super big boobs:
“There’s a common misconception that everyone wants big boobs. Let me tell you something; they don’t. If they’re fourteen and have a chest bigger than most of their school, including the teachers, they don’t. I’m a DD cup. People pay thousands of pounds to have their boobs enlarged to b smaller than mine. I can’t remember the last time I passed for a half fare on the bus. Or the last time a bus driver asked my face and not my chest for the fare. Everyone notices boobs when you’re my age. In fact, the only human in the world who doesn’t notice them is the one person I would quite like to notice them.”
Her antics on her obsessive crush over Layton, her failed makeovers and the way she always seems to embarrass herself when she’s in front of him is hilarious.
She began to dye her hair, stalk her crush, lie to her mother, not bother if she got B’s or C’s on her classes, join activities she doesn’t want to do but for as long as Layton is there she joins, and make up things that are not totally true just to get his attention. Along the way, she began to do things that are not already normal and she also began to fuel a lie which is not supposed to go too far.
Aside from that, she began to realize that the person she has a crush on, is not exactly what she had conjured in her mind.
Sooner she realized that she made a mistake and realize that she deserve better than Layton. It’s not yet late for her. She’s still young. There are many fish in the sea.
I hear a second book is coming in 2014. I hope it’s still about her. Hmm. Will Layton realize that he likes Chessie? Will Chessie make him grovel and move on with another guy? Or will the book be about Debs and Ewan? I’m crossing my fingers for another Layton and Chessie. I want Layton chasing Chessie this time. 😀
Jaimie is a 27-year-old English-sounding Welsh girl with an awkward-to-spell name. She lives in South Wales and enjoys writing, gardening, drinking tea and watching horror movies. She hates spiders and cheese & onion crisps.
She has been writing for years, but has never before plucked up the courage to tell people. She writes mostly chick-lit and young adult. Kismetology is her first novel and there are plenty more on the way!